Tracey asks: Is it Friday yet? It’s Friday, right? I mean 3 Thursdays is more than enough... right?
Tio: WELCOME, CUTIES!! IT'S MY TURN FOR A Q&A! I'm so excited to answer your questions today! We'll try to stretch this out about 2 hours. Anni and I will be in the comments, so feel free to follow-up our answers. You all have asked some wonderful questions! I cannot wait for Anni to see some of them. *giggles*
Anubis: What is happening here?
Tio: The Cuties are amazing and really pulled through for me.
Anubis: This is going to be weird, isn’t it?
Tio: Chaos at it’s finest! Tastes like…cotton candy in here.
Anubis: You realize I know more about you than you know about me, right?
Tio: *rubs his hands together* This is going to be fun.
Anibus: *hugs Tio* So much fun.
Tio: *winks at
* It's definitely Friday now. I'll let Chronos know he can turn your hourglass again. He and I enjoy making time move in interesting ways. Total DILF.
Hi Anni! I bet I'll love you as much as Tio, Qis and Deejay. IF you could get a date with your man, where would you take him on a date? What would your ideal date consist of? *kisses* I'm sure I'll love you as much as your brothers.
Anubis: I LOVE TELLING THIS STORY!
Tio: I think Charon’s version is better.
Anubis: Charon doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Anyway, I met Charon about 2500 years ago after I killed Hades—By the way, that is also an amazing story--
Tio: It really is.
Anubis: My first day taking over Hades’ underworld—I have my own too—and I see this poor guy, ragged robes, didn’t even have a face, taking payment from some souls. Seriously, who charges money to get into the afterlife??? Hades was a fuc—kface. Sorry, Tammy. I'll try to remember not to use that word. Anyway, first thing I did was discontinue the service fee. Too many orphans getting left behind for my liking. The next thing was, Charon hadn’t had a day off since he started working as the ferryman, so I immediately gave him a paid vacation and took him on his first date.
Tio: According to Charon, Anni DRAGGED him away from the ferry and FORCED him to sit down for a victory feast after killing Charon’s beloved boss.
Anubis: Hades was a wanker. I’m a much better god of the dead. I kissed Charon at the end of our date. It was truly romantic.
Tio: *wiggling excitedly* Jennifer, please please please let me go get Qis right now. I have to go do something. *bats eyelashes*
Jennifer: *under her breath* How much chaos do I want this to erupt into? *aloud* You stay here. I’ll go find him.
Tracey asks: So, Anubis is brother to Qis and Deejay, too, then? I’m guessing Deejay doesn’t know that either. Any more hidden brothers?
Tio: Well, I mean, my dad is a god, so…yes? Anni? Maybe this is a better question for you. How many brothers do we have? And I bet they’re asking about brothers just because of Jennifer’s preferences, but tell them about sisters too.
Anubis: Well, Set’s been dead for thousands of years, so not as many as you might think. You’ll find that humans are not great with keeping track of the family tree, so let me break it down for you. The Ennead is a pantheon of my direct ancestors. Atum is my great-great grandfather, a primordial god and a bit of an ass. His two kids, Shu and Tefnut, also asses, made some more gods Geb and Nut. Geb’s ok, Nut’s a bit insane. Those two produced Osiris, Isis, Set, and Nephthys. Set and Nephthys made me and MY SISTER (humans thinks she’s a dude), Ophelia, known as Wepawet, but I swear if anyone calls her my brother, I will probably tear their vocal cords out with my teeth.
Tio: To be fair, she’s a war goddess and back in the day it was easier to lead armies if she disguised herself as a man. Also, she’s a bitch.
Anubis: *shrugs* I like her.
Tio: You also like Charon.
Anubis: He has a beautiful soul. Everyone should love him.
Tio: He is an absolute delight, that’s true. *looks around* Where is Qis?
Cameron says: Sooo you’re aware that vanta black is trademarked right? Don’t want you getting in trouble with us mortals.
Anubis: I’m the god of the underworld; human laws don’t apply to me. I just love that it tricks the eye into questioning reality. It’s so much fun at parties.
Tio: He painted his throne room floor to ceiling in the stuff. All the columns and the throne itself.
Anubis: When I’m sitting on it, it looks like I’m floating in a black hole. Visitors almost never come back.
Qis: I always came back.
Anubis: *pulls Qis into a bone-crushing hug* You’re my favorite brother.
Tio: Mine too!
Qis: *shifts into a serpent, retreats, shifts back into his human form*
Tio: CASUAL NUDITY FOR THE WIN!
Monet: *drapes himself over Qis’ shoulders*
Jennifer: *blushing* Monet refused to be left behind.
Tio: It’s ok! Come along Qis, we’re on a mission! Anni, hold down the fort!
Anubis: I want one of these:
Sarah says: Hey Tio, are we prepared for the level of chaos you and Anni will more than likely unleash?
Also, Anni, what's your favourite part about hanging out with Tio? Do you get along with people?
Anubis: So Tio, Qis and Monet have gone off to do something. I’m sure we will definitely NOT be able to handle the level of chaos Tio’s bringing into this. He—has a special skill for getting into trouble.
Jennifer: He’s almost more trouble than he’s worth.
Anubis: He does edge the line, but I remember when he was just a tiny little thing toddling around on his wittle bebe arms. He was so fuc—king adorable—sorry forgot about the rules.
Jennifer: I do it all the time. Sorry, Tammy!
Anubis: I think my favorite part of Tio has always been his child-like earnestness and appreciation for life. He has real struggles that have quite literally driven lesser Chaos Eaters insane. He’s an absolute delight, no matter what shenanigans he gets into.
Jennifer: Well…he did scare me once.
Anubis: What’s a story without a little suspense?
Jennifer: Less stressful.
Sarah asks: Anni, how big is your dick? That loin cloth is impressive I mean, do you get to put it to much use? LOL
Anubis: This is what happens when Tio tells everyone not to bow before the great and powerful Anubis. *clears throat, uses booming god voice* THE GREAT AND POWERFUL ANUBIS WILL NOT TALK ABOUT HIS DICK--
Tio: *yells over Anubis* HEY CUTIES! MEET CHARON!
Anubis: *booming god voice* I HAVE A MAGNIFICENT COCK! MY LOINCLOTH EXAGGERATES NOTHING!
Charon: *looking a bit disgruntled with Tio* You brought me here to listen to Anubis exaggerate about his dick?
Anubis: *cheeks flaming red* Hi Charon. You look great. Love the robes. Where’s your face? I mean, you don’t have to wear it, but you might scare the humans like this. Did you like the necklace I left on your dick—I mean dock. I left it on your dock. Not your dick. Obviously I would love to leave a gift on your dick. I’m great at BJs, I would blow your socks off. I mean, fu---ck. You don’t wear socks, so I wouldn’t literally blow your socks off. I meant it metaphoric--
Charon: Stop talking.
Tio: *gigglesnorts behind his hands*
Carol asks: Maybe Charon is intimidated? And that's why he hasn't said yes???
Tio: I don’t know, he does have a monster cock according to him.
Anubis: I’M A BOTTOM!
Tio: *laughs and laughs and laughs*
Carol says: So.... in light of Sarah's question... Anni, Are you comfortable talking about your preferences??? lol Top, Bottom, or Verse? gay? bi? Pan? Feel free to tell me I'm asking too many questions if you don't want to answer... I mean no disrespect to you
Tio: *whispers* This is the best thing I’ve ever done.
Anubis: *visibly flustered* I’m…pan? *looks at Charon for any reaction*
Charon: *has no face*
Anubis: I mean, I don’t really have any kind of gender preference. Everything is good to me. Um, I guess I would be…vers? *looks back at Charon for ANYTHING AT ALL*
Charon: *hasn’t moved*
Anubis: I…*in a rush* think I need a break *disappears*
Ashley asks: Brother? Are you... half brothers? With not the same dad?
Can you shapeshift into a jackal??
Church grims always reminded me of Anubis. Are you as much of a protector as the stories claim? I always liked that. Of all the stories of death/afterlife gods and psychopomps, Anubis is always so protective and... caring.
Tio: Well, Anni is taking a short break, so I’ll take this one. Charon, does Anni get protective?
Charon: *sighs* I thought you were taking this one?
Tio: *clearly lying* I’ve barely seen him work. You have WAY more insight than me.
Charon: If there is one good thing about Anubis, it’s that he cares for and protects the lost and sorrowful. He’s a fair judge, but also merciful, and his reforms have made the underworld a much better place to live and work. He might be an incompetent fool when it comes to other things, as a god he’s one of the better ones.
Tio: *flutters his eye lashes* So, do you like him?
Charon: *blank. wall*
Tio: I made friends with Cerberus last time I came to visit. He’s a wonderful companion, isn’t he? He loves sniffing shit out. He showed me this fantastic stash of d--
Charon: I don’t mind him as a boss.
Carolina says: Hi Anni! It's a surprise to know there's one more sibling in the equation. Are you Deejay and Quis' brother too? Are planning to introduce yourself to them? If you do, please be nice to the littles, don’t scare them away.
Anubis: *reappears* Stash of what?
Tio: *nods vigorously* Totally Denarii. It was so strange. Like a bad dragon’s hoard.
Anubis: I thought I cleared out all the coins. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.
Charon: *quickly* I’ve already taken care of the stash.
Anubis: *heart eyes* Thank you. You’re always so on top of me. I mean, my stuff. Uh, responsibilities. F*ck. I always get to know all my siblings. Qis is my favorite, and I promise I won’t scare the children when I meet them. I love kids. In fact, I fell for Charon because I saw him giving all the orphans their coins so they could pay him. It was ADORABLE. And the reason why we did away with the payment system. Hades was a jackass.
Charon: *rumbles in response*
Tio: I can’t tell if that’s an agreement or a warning.
Sarah asks: Anni, how active is your 'social' life? Are you single? How do you spend your free time? Also... tell me a secret?
Anubis: I’m not really available right now… Charon and I--
Charon: *interrupts* He is single as fck and spends his free time annoying his employees, and I’ll tell you a secret—I’m leaving.
Tio: *wraps all his chaos arms around Charon* Noooooooo! Please stay! Everyone want you here!
Charon: I have souls to ferry and that fu—grrrr *points a hand at Anubis* should also be working!
Anubis: I swear I hired people so that we could have some time off for fun things!
Tio: Qis and Monet agreed to ferry the souls while Charon stepped out.
Charon: *growling* You can’t just let anyone takeover my job.
Tio: Who spent most of his vacation in the underworld working the docks?
Charon: *short silence* This is ridiculous.
Tio: Cuties, Qis and I spent some time in the underworld about five years ago, and my brother spent most of that time following Charon around like a puppy, and Charon fuc--
Tammy: NO F-BOMBS!
Tio: —king loved it. Sorry, Tammy!
Anubis: It’s because Qis is adorable. Sorry Tio, but you know what I mean.
Tio: He’s soooo cute!
Charon: *grumpy grunt*
Tio: Charon agrees!
Sarah asks: Anubis, you've been known to typically guide lost souls and also help with final judgment. Do you think you're often misunderstood?
Anubis: *wails* SO MISUNDERSTOOD! I’m a loving guy! I have a huge heart and people try to box me into this scary mythos. I’m amazing!
Tio: You are, right Charon? *hugs Charon really, really, bone crunchingly tight*
Charon: *deadpan* Totally misunderstood.
Tio: *squeezes tighter*
Charon: You realize that all the misunderstanding it because you took on the role of Hades, right? No one actually thinks that Anubis is a bad guy. Everyone expects Hades when they get here, and he was the one who made some questionable decisions.
Anubis: So, you like me? Should we go on another date. I swear I will make it way better this time. We could go have dinner. The Olympians have an excellent vintage of ambrosia wine we could try. Not that I’m trying to get you drunk. I mean, I would never. I want you to enjoy me sober—I don’t mean, like, enjoy-enjoy, I just mean, my company. But if you wanted to enjoy more than my company, of course I want to do that too. I--
Charon: Stop talking.
Anubis: Someone should gag me.
Tio: *holds up a red and blue ball* Want to chase the ball? It’s almost like a gag.
Tessa Gene- Mallette Kelly
Hi Anni! Do you have a favorite past time?
Tio: *throws the ball*
Anubis: *transforms into a giant wolf and off like a shot*
Charon: I have a collection of balls in my robes. It’s the best way to get him to shut up.
Kate says: Hi Anni, can’t wait to meet you properly and I love your pic! So, what I want to know is what do like doing for fun and to relax? I know you’re probably really busy but you must have some downtime? Also what’s your favourite thing about Charon? What caught your interest first and then snagged it permanently? Are you fated mates and if so how do you know and does Charon realise this? Does Charon have a species?
Charon: *huffs, annoyed and throws another ball for Anni as soon as he comes back* I’m never, ever, ever going to date Anubis. The gods don’t have fated mates; they have consorts, and Anubis tends to run through his rapidly. His favorite thing about me is my work ethic, and species-wise, I’m a Reaper. A very, very, VERY specialized Reaper. *throws another ball, ignoring the slobbery ones dropped at his feet*
Janine says: Hi, Anni! Do you like ear scritches and being called a good boy or a pretty puppy?
Tio: *calls to Anni* Come here, pretty puppy! Come here and Charon’s going to scratch your ears!
Anubis: *skids to a stop in front of Charon and totally noses his crotch*
Charon: *starts pushing Anubis away*
Tio: Anni, did I tell you about that time Cerberus and I went hunting in the woods for bad dragons?
Charon: *scratches Anubis’ ear*
Anubis: *happy wolf*
Tammy asks: Anni, what makes Tio your favorite brother? What’s the craziest thing you’ve done with him, or helped him get out of?
Anubis: *transforms into his god-visage* Well, Qis is my favorite, but he’s everyone’s favorite. Tio is my second favorite, and let me tell you a little story about how a six year old Chaos Eater brought a several thousand year old Chaos Eater to his knees and not because he was so cute everyone wanted to hold him.
Tio: *snorts and rolls his eyes*
Anubis: *puts his arm over Tio’s shoulder* My son is a shit stain, who didn’t love the hell out of this *points to Tio* little guy the moment he laid eyes on him.
Tio: Anubis doesn’t believe in killing people just because of their species, but in this case, Euandros might’ve been a mistake to let live.
Anubis: Hush you. *covers Tio’s mouth* Euandros and I went to visit my father and happened to arrive on his sixth birthday. Euandros has forever pulled the worse shit just to feed himself on the chaos he causes. When we arrived at this gorgeous hacienda my father was keeping Tio practically chained in, I decided to take my little brother shopping. I left Euandros with Set and took Tio out for the whole day. We shopped, we harvested a few souls, Tio learned how to eat with a spoon. It was fantastic.
Tio: Is that how I figured out how to eat?
Anubis: *snaps his sharp teeth in annoyance* Yes. Anyway. When Tio and I got back from our day of terrorizing the city and shopping, I’d bought Tio this gorgeous hand carved, wooden checkers board and all the pieces for both checkers and chess. I figured I could start him on checkers and once he got used to that one, he could step up to chess.
I played one round with him before we came back to the hacienda. When we get there, shitstain—I mean Euandros got jealous of the six year old’s birthday present and demanded Tio give it to him.
Tio looked up at my embarrassment of a son and straight up told him he had to win it.
Euandros, being a cocky little prick, took Tio up on his challenge.
It took the six year old who had played one game of checkers less than three minutes to slaughter Euandros on the board. I was so proud of him. *gives Tio a noogie*
Tio: NOT THE HAIR!
Tio: Thank you for having us Cuties! My book comes out May 15th and it will be amazing just like me.
Anubis: What I've read so far is fantastic. You'll love it.
Tio: How far have you gotten?
Anubis: About a third of the way.
Tio: Are the skimming?
Anubis: *laughs* No.
Charon: Can I leave now?
Anubis: I'll see you in a bit! We'll go to Olympus for dinner.
Charon: *flips Anubis the bird, disappears*
Tio: I 100% guarantee he'll let you take him on a date tonight.
Anubis: *feeling a little nauseated from nerves* I should go get ready. Good bye, Cuties! Thanks for having me!
*Originally posted in Jennifer's Facebook group, to see additional comments/responses,
visit FB HERE. Search #TioandAnni
**Jennifer Cody does not own, or claim rights for the images in this post**